Tuesday, 11th May 2021

I don't even want Greenland any more, pouts Trump while playing with toy Greenland

PRESIDENT Trump has told Denmark that he does not even want Greenland anyway while sulking and playing with his beloved Playmobil Greenland set. 

Trump, who cancelled a state visit to Denmark after they refused to sell him the autonomous territory, tweeted that Greenland is stupid and rubbish anyway while positioning tiny Eskimos around an ice-hole.

He continued: “Who wants to own a magical land of snow and ice and mineral rights anyway? Not me. And by me I mean ‘the United States of America’.

“Sure, I only heard of Greenland three weeks ago, when I noticed how big it was on maps, and certainly I’ve never been there or read anything about the place. But I kinda wanted it.

“Except that I don’t now because Greenland is no good, everyone is saying so, and the Dumb Danes are stuck with it and they’re the ones who look like idiots now. They really messed up.”

Trump has repeatedly called the Danish government while making a toy walrus burst from inside a toy igloo to fight a toy polar bear, with his last message claiming that he ‘would not take Greenland for free’.

Senior US state department officials then reminded Trump of the existence of Alaska, following which the president cheered considerably and called Putin offering him £42 billion for it.