It is a really good cathedral, says Trump

DONALD Trump has backed two Russian tourists who visited Salisbury last March to marvel at the city’s 13th Century cathedral.

The US president said Salisbury was the best cathedral he has ever visited – and the fact that it was so close to Stonehenge made the trip a ‘no-brainer’ for anyone who is passionate about ecclesiastical architecture.

He added: “And early March is absolutely the best time to see it. That’s when Salisbury – and Wiltshire generally – are at their most inviting.”

Trump also recommended the nine mile walk from Salisbury to Stonehenge, but not if the ground under foot was ‘slushy’.

He said: “You might fall over and break a small bottle of perfume in your rucksack. So best to just visit the cathedral and then head straight back to the airport.

“That said, Longleat Safari Park is also worth a visit if you have time.”

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Tube carriage impressed by powerful display of manspreading

A MAN on a tube train has established himself as a powerful and sexually successful individual by spreading his legs quite far apart.

Phone shop manager Martin Bishop, 46, got on at Goodge Street and splayed his legs at a 160 degree angle, giving lucky passengers a fine view of his manly groin.

Commuter Donna Sheridan said: “I realised I was in the presence of a leader of men, perhaps a billionaire or an army officer loved by his troops for leading from the front.

“As a woman I was immediately seduced by his masterful display of animal dominance. I’m a pretty staunch feminist but I just wanted to drape myself over him like a Playboy Bunny.

“The way his enormous belly strained against his sweaty office shirt just added to the erotic frisson. I’ll definitely be thinking of that in bed tonight.”

City worker Tom Logan said: “I earn 200k and I’m pretty buff from all the sport I do, but it was clear to me this powerful alpha male was my superior in every way.

“I had an urge to say ‘Lead me, o my King, and I will follow!’, but unfortunately he got off at Tufnell Park.”