Trump unites shocked world in contempt for him

PEOPLE of different races, creeds and sexual orientations all think Donald Trump is a f**ker, it has emerged.

As the world reels from tragic events in Orlando, diverse social groups came together over their feelings about the scrotum-skinned billionaire.

Roy Hobbs, from Birmingham, said: “Sometimes its seems the world is impossible to understand.

“Then Donald Trump pops up in the wake of something incomprehensibly horrible and says ‘I was right’ and you realise there are some absolute truths, like what a rotten opportunistic bastard he is.

“I speak to people from all walks of life and they feel similarly. So in a way he’s building bridges.”

Christians, Muslims, atheists, straight people and gay people have found a common ground in wishing Trump’s parents had never met, prompting speculation that he is a brilliant and selfless man who doesn’t believe a word he says.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Many have speculated that ‘Trump’s’ real name is Jason Price and that he’s a gifted character actor who created Trump to unite a disparate world against a colossal knobhead.

“Maybe it’s true. You can’t give up hope, that’s what ‘Trump’ wants.”