UK Businessman Wanted Over Death Of Billionaire Megalomaniac

A BRITISH businessman has been named as the prime suspect in the death of a billionaire intent on taking over the world.

Hugo Drax, owner of Drax Industries, was killed last Friday when he was ejected from the airlock of his personal space station 120 miles above Holland.

Detectives in Rotterdam, where the charred remains of Mr Drax's torso fell to Earth, say they want to speak to UK sales manager James St John Smythe, though they stressed this may be an alias.

Police captain Johan DeVelt said: "He is about six feet tall, he has light brown hair and speaks in a refined English accent. He actually looks a bit like Roger Moore.

"We believe he uses false passports and fake identities including 'Mr Fisher', 'James Stock' and 'Dr Mikhail Arkov'. And he also has a Lotus Esprit that can go under water."

Captain DeVelt said St John Smythe is often seen in the company of beautiful woman with sexually suggestive names including Holly Goodhead, Pussy Galore and the Taiwanese acrobat U Fook Mi.

The suspect is believed to be the same man who was briefly wanted in connection with the death of a young woman in a Miami hotel who had been covered from head to toe in gold paint. A chubby, red-faced Latvian billionaire and his Japanese henchman were eventually convicted of the crime.

Captain DeVelt added: "We are pretty sure it's the same man, though back then he was a bit taller, had much darker hair and spoke with a Scottish accent. A bit like Sean Connery."

Last night friends of Mr Drax paid tribute insisting he was a kind and decent man whose only flaw was trying to kill everyone on the planet with giant bombs full of deadly bacteria.


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1. Oil companies are a bunch of evil pricks.

2. The country is run by arseholes.

The end.