US And Russia Leave Just Enough Nuclear Weapons To Kill Everything Twice

THE world became a safer place last night after the United States and Russia agreed to keep just enough nuclear weapons to kill every living thing on the face of the Earth twice.

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Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly, I have been married to my husband for over 6 years, and we have three children together. The trouble is that for a while now I've been having sexual feelings about other women and I'm not sure what this means. My husband and I still have a healthy sex life, but nowadays, while he's pumping away like a Kwik-Fit fitter, I'm busy mentally replacing his big red face with that of Amanda Holden's lady lips. Also, I can't help touching myself of a morning when Loose Women comes on and they start talking about intimate feminine issues in a lewd and boisterous manner. Have I turned all lesbian? Helen Derby

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