Vain, petty nutjob finally meets his equal

NORTH Korean leader Kim Jong-un has finally met a leader as powerful, vain, petty and intellectually limited as he is, he has confirmed. 

Kim, who lives in palaces of golden luxury watching kung-fu films and news reports about how incredible he is, has admitted that President Trump is his Western doppelganger.

He continued: “He calls himself a capitalist. I call myself a communist. But really, we are the same.

“I stare into those vacant, piggy eyes, possessed of no intelligence but an infinite desire for adulation and a total disregard for others, and it’s like looking in a mirror.

“He is old and I am young, I am a triumph of hereditary rule and he is a triumph of democracy, but deep down we are two spoilt children with chocolate around our mouths who will destroy the world rather than share it.

“In theory we could be friends, we have so much in common, but I am too pig-headed and obstinate to allow that and I know in my heart that he is the same, so it will be armageddon instead.”

He added: “All life on earth, extinguished in a jealous clash between two tantrumming stupids. So perfect.”