Dreary left-wing arse wondering what he did before the internet

A MAN who spends a huge amount of time posting hysterical left-wing comments on websites is genuinely wondering how he coped before the internet.

Tom Booker spends a stupid amount of time each day posting predictable left-wing opinions, such as all Tories being evil bastards or wittily referring to Brexit as ‘Brexshit’.

Teacher Booker said: “Before the internet, I’ve no idea how I shared banal opinions like my firmly held belief that Thatcher ruined Britain with her ‘culture of greed’.

“The great thing about the internet is that, unlike social gatherings, no one can tell you to change the subject because everyone’s getting bored shitless.

“Without the internet to share my views, I’d actually have to go to some left-wing meetings, and even then I’d feel a bit self-conscious about saying how I’d gleefully piss on Thatcher’s grave.

“Online I’m a dangerous revolutionary who’d happily shoot all the Tory scum, despite actually being the sort of person who captures spiders humanely and puts them safely in the garden.”