Warship reminds Spain we can still find Gibraltar

A ROYAL Navy warship has docked in Gibraltar reminding Spain that we can still find our way there if necessary.

HMS Westminster is the first Navy vessel to visit the territory since HMS Tobacco in 1847.

The warship docked after its chief petty officer opened a window and shouted ‘excuse me, is this Gibraltar?’ to an old lady who was minding her own business.

The crew will now spend two weeks making a collage about the territory and acquiring a world class selection of venereal conditions.

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Royal baby growing uncontrollably

THE royal baby is growing at an alarming rate.

Prince George is already the size of an adult elephant, and weighs approximately seven tons.

A source said: “I don’t know what they’re feeding it, but there’s something terribly wrong. Every day it doubles in size.

“Its giant eye is pressed up against the window and when it cries it sounds like a furious sea monster.”