AS Libyans battle for their bright new dawn concerns were being raised that a new regime could charge more for car juice.
Amid fierce fighting in the centre of Tripoli, millions of western
motorists said they still had no idea how much these people wanted for
the thing that makes them slightly more interesting than other Africans.
Tom Logan, who has just spent eight grand on a Peugeot for Christ’s sake, said: “What we talking, £1.35, £1.40? That bird from Sky News is in
amongst it screeching about ‘euphoria’ as if chipper Libyans were part of
my monthly budget.
“Get Jeff Randall in there in a big, metal hat.”
Meanwhile experts said that by now an American invasion force would have
had a half-arsed interim government in place and be getting down to the
vital business of fucking everything into the middle of next week.
Martin Bishop, professor of knowing what’s best for Abdul at Roehampton
University, said: “It’s now 48 hours since the rebels stormed Tripoli
and there is still a disturbing lack of former CIA assets opening a
blood-filled Pandora’s Box of age-old tribal conflicts.
“Is it amateur hour? I think it might be.”
Julian Cook, a leading neo-conservative who thinks Iraqi car bombs are
transitional paperwork, added: “If we don’t see a Texan-sized portion of
western values this place could soon turn into a delicious new enemy
who will try to source unprocessed yellow cake from Devon.”
Meanwhile, Lockerbie bomber Abdelbaset al-Megrahi has written to the Scottish government asking if they can find him a nice hotel in Iran.