BREXIT is such an endless black hole of misery that it has even managed to make MDMA less fun, research has revealed.
A peer-reviewed scientific study found that supply chain disruption had caused a decrease in the purity of the drug, adding yet another unexpected drawback to the shitshow of leaving the EU.
Recreational drug user Lucy Parry said: “Given that we live in a hole of a country with an inept, lying prime minister, a failing economy and a media obsessed with peddling culture war crap, I need a little dab of Mandy to make it bearable.
“However, Brexit has even managed to f**k up that. Apparently pills are now routinely cut with stuff that causes panic, psychosis and prolonged insomnia. I can get that from reading the news, thanks very much.
“I bet it doesn’t affect Brexiters like Jacob Rees-Mogg. He’s probably got his own personal chemist making pills that blow your head off. That would explain a lot.”
Oliver O’Connor said: “Taking a couple of pills on a weekend used to allow me to feel like all was well with the world, even when it wasn’t.
“Now I have to suffer the horrible reality of this country with only a few pints of lager in me. Suddenly I can see why angry twats feel the need to fight each other outside pubs. In fact, I think I’ll join in.”