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Cannabis isn't addictive like other drugs, says man who's smoked weed every day for 15 years

A MAN who has been high every day for the past 15 years has explained that it is impossible to get addicted to marijuana.

Joe Turner, 33, smokes a minimum of five joints per evening and insists that cannabis is ‘more of a plant than a drug’ and isn’t ‘full of addictive chemicals’ like cocaine and heroin.

Speaking between hits from a giant bong, Turner said: “Just because I fancy a bit of weed every morning doesn’t mean I have an addiction. I brush my teeth every day but nobody accuses me of being addicted to toothpaste.

“The great thing about weed is you can do as much as you like without getting hooked. Yes, I do feel a bit anxious until I’ve had my first smoke of the day and I get jittery when I’m running low. But that’s just because I enjoy it so much. 

“I’m exactly the same with chocolate. Which I buy most nights at 1am at the 24-hour garage. You should try their Twixes. They’re amazing.”

Turner insisted he can take a break at any time, while sparking up a freshly-rolled three-skin spliff and constructing another to smoke later during an arduous trip to Tesco.

He added: “Actually one day last year I went nearly eight hours without smoking at all. Admittedly it was because my dealer wasn’t responding to my texts, but I barely wondered how anyone gets through the incredible tedium of real life at all.”

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Nadine Dorries: 'I will always be remembered as The One Boris Didn't Shag'

NADINE Dorries, who is standing down at the next election, believes her place in history as Boris Johnson’s non-sexual acolyte is assured.

The Mid Bedfordshire MP believes that when historians write accounts of the Brexit Age she will be noted as a significant anomaly for her sycophantic yet non-erotic attachment to the former prime minister.

Dorries said: “Curious, isn’t it? That the fiercest supporter of Boris is one of the few women he’s not gone at like a dog humping a sofa.

“Even now I’m writing a book about the unfairness of his political downfall and his inevitable, triumphant return while yearning for his touch – though that can never be.

“In every volume of history, even the ones written by lefties, there will be a footnote. It will read: ‘Evidence shows that Johnson made love to every woman living in London aged 21 to 38 between the years 2006-2022 at least once, with Dorries the sole exception.’

“I like to think it shows how special and invaluable and in fact closer to him I am than any woman who merely shares his bed. Carrie? A mere concubine.”

Johnson said: “Nads? Ah, now, bit awkward because I’m going to have to give her peerage to this posh girl I’ve got pregnant.”

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