A MAN who has been high every day for the past 15 years has explained that it is impossible to get addicted to marijuana.
Joe Turner, 33, smokes a minimum of five joints per evening and insists that cannabis is ‘more of a plant than a drug’ and isn’t ‘full of addictive chemicals’ like cocaine and heroin.
Speaking between hits from a giant bong, Turner said: “Just because I fancy a bit of weed every morning doesn’t mean I have an addiction. I brush my teeth every day but nobody accuses me of being addicted to toothpaste.
“The great thing about weed is you can do as much as you like without getting hooked. Yes, I do feel a bit anxious until I’ve had my first smoke of the day and I get jittery when I’m running low. But that’s just because I enjoy it so much.
“I’m exactly the same with chocolate. Which I buy most nights at 1am at the 24-hour garage. You should try their Twixes. They’re amazing.”
Turner insisted he can take a break at any time, while sparking up a freshly-rolled three-skin spliff and constructing another to smoke later during an arduous trip to Tesco.
He added: “Actually one day last year I went nearly eight hours without smoking at all. Admittedly it was because my dealer wasn’t responding to my texts, but I barely wondered how anyone gets through the incredible tedium of real life at all.”