Classic band fallings out that were better than the music

ROGER Waters and Dave Gilmour aren’t the first musicians to be embroiled in a bitter feud. Here are some of the classic bust-ups from music history. 

Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend

The Who were notorious for fisticuffs – who’d have guessed necking brandy and drugs in lunatic quantities could cause problems? In one incident Daltrey decked Townshend with an uppercut, and genuinely thought he’d killed him. Happily they’re still mates. Maybe Rog knocks Pete unconscious occasionally for old times’ sake. Aw. 

Morrissey and Johnny Marr

The origin of this row is unclear, but it prompted Morrissey to write a pompous, faux-poetical open letter saying, among other things: ‘If I was, as you claim, such an eyesore monster, where exactly did this leave you? Mute? Chained? Abducted by cross-eyed extraterrestrials?’ Which handily explains that they fell out because Morrissey is an utter wanker. 

Oasis and themselves plus Damon Albarn

The Gallaghers had various tedious scraps plus an assault with a tambourine, which must have been terrifying for poor Noel, so it was far more entertaining when Liam told Damon Albarn to ‘catch AIDS and die’. Respect due for thinking of such a tasteless and painful death for someone whose greatest crime was being annoyingly middle-class. 

Roger Waters and Dave Gilmour 

This actually takes some beating. Gilmour’s wife tweeted that Waters was ‘anti-semitic to his rotten core’, which Dave seemed to agree with. It’s not the sort of thing you can sort out with flowers and a card: ‘Sorry for telling everyone you hate Jews. Friends?’ It’s more entertaining than Floyd albums like A Momentary Lapse of Reason, and don’t pre-book tickets for a reunion tour.

Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel

Much tension, but manifested in unexciting ways, such as Garfunkel feeling hurt when Simon recorded a solo single in 1958. However you can’t really imagine the sensitive folk-pop duo battering each other, and hearing about their tetchy relationship is preferable to listening to unbearable tweeness like For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her.


Frontman and rhythm guitarist Paul Stanley decided to drop the bomb on his former bandmates in his memoir. Gene Simmons did not mastermind the band’s career, ‘he just took credit for things’. Band members were often too f**ked to play, quelle surprise, and Ace Frehley and Peter Criss were antisemites who, in Frehley’s case, also racially mocked waiters at Chinese restaurants. Stanley also highlights Frehley’s collection of Nazi memorabilia in case you were unsure about his feelings.

Mel B and Geri Halliwell and Mel C and Posh Spice

The Spice Girls didn’t collect Nazi memorabilia as far as we know, but Geri left the band on Mel B’s birthday without telling her, the cow. Mel B meanwhile has revealed she came to blows with Mel C and there was animosity toward Victoria for not joining a reunion tour. Mel (B) also told Piers Morgan about a sexual encounter with Geri, which she said was ‘hurtful to her family’. Friendship never ends, indeed.

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It would stop murder like it has in America: Five great reasons to bring back the death penalty

COMMON sense has finally prevailed after Tory deputy chair Lee Anderson said it was time to bring back capital punishment. Here are five solid reasons why a good hanging is just what this country needs.

It would free up public money for a new Royal Yacht

For the price of a length of rope and a trapdoor, we could save thousands of pounds each year on feeding murderers and buying them colour TVs. The money saved would be spent on a new yacht for King Charles and his brother Prince Andrew. Why should the guilty live it up in prison while the innocent suffer?

It would teach murderers a lesson

Obviously not a lesson they could learn from in this life, but if they were reincarnated it would prevent them from committing more murders when they return as bees, spiders, or worms. Won’t someone think of the worms? (It would also stop them reoffending if they came back as a ghost.)

Innocent people would be hanged but we mustn’t let a few good apples ruin the whole barrel of rottenness 

It’s best to not to take any chances with murderers walking free and hang everyone accused of it. You could also hang shoplifters to stop them progressing to more serious crimes, ie. murder, as they undoubtedly do. In addition, films about innocent people who were hanged like 10 Rillington Place and Let Him Have It have been great moneyspinners for the British movie industry. More miscarriages of justice, please!

We could dig up Myra Hindley and hang her retrospectively

If anything Ian Brady was more responsible, but MYRA HINDLEY!

It would stop murder like it has in America

The death penalty was reintroduced in the USA in 1976. Prior to that, it was a non-stop murder-fest. But thanks to the return of the electric chair and lethal injections, murder is almost unheard of now – there were only two homicides in Los Angeles last year, and they were both harmless pranks gone wrong. It helps that everyone owns guns, which has also acted as an effective deterrent against death.