IT has dawned on a father that his family has only invited him on holiday so he can lug their stuff everywhere like a pack mule.
Stephen Malley thought his wife and children included him in their trip to Spain because they love him, but is starting to suspect they only tolerate his presence for his relatively broad shoulders and strong back.
He said: “If they’re not asking me to ‘hold this’ or ‘carry that’ I’m dead to them. Meanwhile they’re free to scamper around ahead of me and explore the Mediterranean coast without a care in the world.
“On the rare occasions they do interact with me, it’s only to spin me around so they can grab their hats or sun cream from the side pockets. It’s not really me they want, it’s the bag and the many splendid delights it contains. I am nothing, I am nobody.
“Maybe I’m being pessimistic. They also let me drive everywhere and pay for everything, and I’m always the one who ends up trying to interact with the locals even though I barely speak their language.
“If that’s not a sign your family values your company, I don’t know what is.”
Wife Francesca said: “Stephen? Sorry, I don’t know who you mean. We refer to our bag carrier as ‘The Help’ for the duration of the holiday. It’s a lovely family bonding experience.”
