A GAP-YEAR twat has set out on a year-long journey of self-discovery all the way from Plymouth to Bournemouth, he has confirmed.
Due to restrictions on foreign travel, sixth-form graduate Jack Browne of Swindon has cancelled his trip to Thailand and looked closer to home for a transformative trip through tourist areas that he can drone on about at length to anyone who will listen.
He said: “Yeah, I’m going to be backpacking across the south coast, hoping to really share the lives of the indigenous peoples and learn about their rich, ancient culture.
“It was a tearful moment when I waved goodbye to my parents and boarded the standard class train carriage. Slumming it are what these epic travels are all about.
“It’s really about rejecting materialism for a deeper spiritualism and finding the self I am beneath these cultural trappings as I push a shopping trolley round the aisles of Endsleigh Garden Centre.
“As I wander from Saltash to Newton Abbot to Wimborne, I hope to find answers to the real questions of life. And even if I only do boring stuff, I’ll exaggerate it in a desperate attempt to appear worldly-wise and get laid.”
Browne is expected to get off with a girl from Reading halfway through his trip and end up marrying her, just as would have happened if they had met in Goa as scheduled.