IF you’re British it can be hard to juggle a demanding job with family life and constantly worrying about immigration. Here life coach Nikki Hollis explains how to make time for your unhealthy obsession.
Decide what really matters to you
Is your career less important to you these days? Alternatively you might feel stifled by family life. Maybe what’s most precious to you is saying ‘F**k off, we’re full!’ every time immigration is mentioned? It should be the last one. What are you, some Remoaner who hates British war veterans?
Learn to prioritise
Don’t just comply with every demand on your time. Step back and ask yourself: do you really need to go to your daughter’s fifth birthday party when there’s an important phone-in about immigration on LBC? You’ve only got one chance to enjoy this moment of racists rambling incoherently to Nick Ferrari. Until tomorrow, anyway.
Listen to your body
Do you feel tired all the time? It’s a sure sign you’re working too hard, trying to be a perfect parent and still finding time to be furious about immigration. Start getting a good night’s sleep without fail. Remember to keep a hammer under your pillow to fight off Albanian pimps who want you for their brothel. Yes, even a paunchy 40-year-old man. They’re that evil.
Don’t neglect your own hobbies and interests
Your wife can have her birthday meal on her own. She can take a book or something. You’re spending the night camped on the cliffs of Dover with a pair of binoculars looking for dinghies and dialling 999 whenever you think you see one, although it might just be a wave. You deserve quality ‘me time’.
Ringfence your time
At work start knocking off promptly at 5.30pm and be strict about it. It’s the only way you’ll be able to put in the time on newspaper comment sections posting illiterate rants about ‘millions of Siryans coming hear for a free TVs’.
Have realistic goals
You can’t be expected to work like a slave, be mum or dad of the year and singlehandedly repel the foreign hordes sent to replace indigenous Brits by Cultural Marxists. You’re not superman or woman. Which is a shame, because you could rotate the Earth backwards to the utopia of the 1950s, when the only foreign language you’d hear was ‘Ve hef vays of making you talk!’ at the pictures.
Reap the benefits
A good work/life/immigration balance is totally achievable. You’ll be more energised, see less of your kids, not give a toss about work and spend thousands of hours being pointlessly triggered by tabloid headlines. So start making changes NOW.