A DERANGED psychopath is still wearing a different outfit every day for the benefit of literally nobody.
Emma Bradford of Worthing lives alone and has no videoconferencing scheduled all week but is still putting on full outdoor clothes each morning to ‘feel normal’.
Friend Carolyn Ryan said: “I spontaneously FaceTimed her, expecting a soup-stained bed T-shirt, hair halfway to dreadlocks and bloodshot, haunted eyes.
“Instead she had a nice chiffon blouse, a full face of makeup and I swear a blow dry. Even on her bottom half she had culottes. She showed me.
“When I asked why, she said ‘I like to look nice for myself.’ I thought we’d all agreed that was a lie, now? Then she asked when I last showered, with an insultingly quizzical tilt of the head.
“There’s nothing explicitly on the Hare psychopathy checklist about getting dressed every day. But she’s clearly a danger to our new mole-people society.”
Bradford said: “And I’m still ironing. And I’m keeping an Amazon man prisoner in my box bedroom.”