A BALDING man has been left heartbroken after discovering he does not possess the raw masculine energy required to pull off the shaved-head look.
Joe Turner, 40, believed he could solve his hair loss problem by emulating macho Hollywood stars like Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Jason Statham.
However, after shaving his head, he found he bore more resemblance to an enormous thumb and lacked any sort of forceful personality required to pull off the style.
Turner said: “My hair was on its last legs and I knew I had two choices – I could either fork out the money for plugs or take control of my destiny and get rid of the rest myself.
“I’ve seen so many celebrities successfully make the change I thought I could do the same. Vin Diesel got rid of his hair and he’s still making Fast and Furious films. Ross Kemp is considered a hard man despite looking like an egg. Even Patrick Stewart’s shiny dome exudes a certain masculine elegance.
“But it turns out that without hair I look more like Matt Lucas or Karl Pilkington than I do a young Bruce Willis. And I just don’t have the macho charisma required to style it out.
“My plan now is to let what hair I have left grow back and see if I’m able to pull off Prince William’s look.”