Middle-aged woman thrilled to be offered cocaine at gig

A 47-YEAR-OLD woman has confessed that being offered cocaine at a gig has made her feel like a teenager again. 

Mother-of-two Emma Bradford was leaving a gig in Brixton, which she had agreed to attend to impress a date, when she was offered the class-A substance by a dealer.

She said: “Well, it looks like somebody’s still got it.

“I’d never heard of the band, which turned out to be just a DJ, and I have to admit I was feeling a little bit out-of-place but Dave who I met on Plenty of Fish is four years younger so I had to pull out all the stops.

“I wasn’t sure the evening was a complete success until I was offered the cocaine. Honestly I could’ve kissed him.

“I turned to Dave, rolled my eyes like this happens to me all the time, politely declined and moved off. We’re on a third date this week. Who knew Cupid would come in the form of a shady drug dealer?

“Though I did blow it a little bit when I turned around and shouted back ‘But thank you for asking!’”