Mum telling story skilfully makes ethnicity of everyone involved relevant

A MOTHER recounting an incident to her adult daughter ingeniously included not just the race or religion of each character, but made it a key feature.

Carolyn Ryan was telling daughter Hayley about an incident at work and interwove these important biographical details without it seeming in the least gratuitous.

She said: “You see Mo, who’s Muslim and had been off for Eid, came back and Rosa had taken over his project. And he isn’t happy because he thinks Rosa is lazy.

“She isn’t, it’s just being from Equatorial Guinea where sunset and sunrise is the same all year round she finds it hard to adjust to the nights drawing in.

“Luckily Luis the manager stepped in and nipped it in the bud. He’s a former diplomat from Colombia, also near the equator, and raised in the Islamic faith so could understand both perspectives and solve everything with a few calming words.

“You accuse me of bringing up race when it’s not relevant, but in this case it was actually incredibly pertinent to what transpired. Also Luis is gay.”

Hayley said: “Yes, but not in a camp way, you said. And I know Rosa’s from Equatorial Guinea but she is also born and raised in Walsall.”

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Everyone delighted to see ex-Dubai dweller on his arse in UK

A FORMER resident of Dubai who is now back in Britain doing badly is the toast of his friendship group, they have confirmed. 

40-year-old Martin Bishop’s social media posts were once about infinity pools on rooftops, £14 cappuchinos sprinkled with gold leaf and BMW interiors but are now about shitty weather and unexpected taxes, delighting all his acquaintances.

Friend Tom Logan said: “I can’t wait until I next see Martin. Apparently he struggles to afford a Lime bike.

“At the welcome home dinner he turned up drenched, mumbling that he got rid of his umbrellas when he moved to ‘DXB’. I took a photo which I look at and laugh.

“He then explained he was 25 minutes late because of the trains, adding ‘back in Dar Al-Hay, this never happened due to the Sheikh’s high investment in transport’ and began telling us about a helicopter ride he was on, then trailed off.

“Later he compared his former apartment overlooking the Burj Khalifa to his mum’s box room, where he’s currently living, because it has a view of the park. The filet mignon he tried to have Deliverooed there got nicked, because of course it did.”

He added: “I caught him showing off pics of his skydiving to the barmaid and loudly said ‘but that’s all in the past now, isn’t it, mate?’ The look on his face made up for when he showed me his first Dubai pay slip.”