Progressive stag party goes to strip club for research

A PROGRESSIVE bachelor party went to a strip club to get a better understanding of toxic masculinity, they have revealed.

Tom Booker and friends normally prefer activities like discussing green issues and swapping vegan recipes, but felt that the sexist pole dancing industry was something they ought to be aware of.

Booker said: “Going to the strip club really gave us valuable first-hand experience of how problematic we men are. I felt terrible objectifying all those gorgeous women.

“Admittedly it was difficult to have an in-depth discussion with attractive dancers wearing barely a stitch cavorting for our entertainment, but it just shows how ingrained sexism is in our culture.

“I feel we reached some very worthwhile conclusions. As Pete said, maybe it’s more sexist to ban strip clubs if women want to do it. That’s a really interesting point.”

Stripper Nikki Hollis said: “If they’re so progressive I don’t know why they’re giving their tacit endorsement to the patriarchal institution of marriage.”


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Mum's life ruined after she forgets to order school dinners

A MUM’S life is in tatters after she was forced to make her kids packed lunches for an entire week.

Mother-of-two Emma Bradford received the bad news on Monday lunchtime and had to humiliatingly rush to the school with jam sandwiches. 

Bradford said: “I considered keeping the kids off school all week but realised that would be even more annoying.

“It doesn’t help that I have one child who will only eat sandwiches made out of unicorn tears or something equally picky, and another who hates bread. How did I raise such fussy b*stards?

“Then I have to give them the obligatory fruit we all know is just going to come back as a horrible mess with one bite taken out of it.

“I mean, do they really need lunch every single day? I doubt it. And you’d think the school would be pleased with childhood obesity on the rise.”