SMALLER Smeg appliances are in no way impressive unless complementing a huge Smeg refrigerator, homeowners have confirmed.
Martin Bishop, whose kitchen boasts the full trifecta, recently visited a friend who had purchased a Smeg kettle and, pathetically, thought it worth being proud of.
He said: “Nathan took me into his new fitted kitchen – Ikea – and pointed out the matching Smeg kettle and toaster in cream as if these artefacts elevated his social status.
“He asked if I wanted to ‘have a hold’ as if they were newborn twins and I told him the same thing I told my sister when my niece arrived: No thanks!
“Offering me a coffee he said ‘I’ll fire up the Smeg’ and I’m sure at one point he referred to toast as ‘Smeggy bread’. Meanwhile his fridge is a crappy LG! Doesn’t he realise that the smaller appliances are just accessories?
“It’s the Smeg fridge which separates the men from the boys, the haves from the have-nots, the pretentious wankers from the rich wankers. I’ve invited him to mine, pretending it’s to watch football, but really just to show him what a decent kitchen looks like.”
Nathan Muir said: “I love my Smeg kettle, it lets you select the temperature of the water. I normally choose 100 degrees.”
