Teenager better than his town and everyone who lives there

A 17-YEAR-OLD is absolutely convinced of his inherent natural superiority to the town he grew up in and all its residents. 

Tom Booker, who has spent his entire life in the fairly pleasant town of Nantwich in Cheshire, is contemptuous of all those who do not realise how shit it is and has vague plans to show them all.

He said: “Everyone here just wants to go to work, watch garbage on TV and wash their cars on Saturday like zombies. They’re all dead inside. Literally dead inside.

“I’m better than this place. I’ve got plans, plans to get incredibly rich in a creative field though I’m not sure which one yet. Then they’ll be ashamed of failing to recognise the genius in their midst.

Friend Nikki Hollis said: “Tom says a lot of things like ‘This town won’t get me,’ while staring out across its rooftops, as if there’s a plan to kidnap him and chain him to a Greggs counter.

“He’s so sure he’ll make it out of here and do something amazing with his life. So far he’s only applied to Keele University, but you’ve got to start somewhere.”