Saturday, 30th May 2020

Woman who's stopped contouring face forced to admit she's 2D

A WOMAN’S makeup-free lockdown regime has revealed that her previous facial contouring efforts were the only reason she appeared to have three dimensions.

Nikki Hollis initially continued her extensive shading and enhancing makeup techniques for the first few weeks of lockdown for fear of people’s reactions if they saw how two-dimensional she actually is.

Hollis said: “Surprisingly the response from colleagues over Zoom has been warm and supportive. Ultimately, the people who really know me can see the kind of person I am underneath all the makeup anyway – flat like an envelope, but with kind eyes.”

Hollis’s colleague Tom Logan said: “I prefer the natural look in women but I was surprised to see her looking so different at the morning meeting. However, she’s obviously good at contouring so I’ve asked her for tips on how to make my beer belly look like a six-pack.”

Hollis added: “I used to think slapping on makeup was the only way people would like me, but I’ve realised I was just conforming to society’s narrow expectations of how many dimensions I should have.”