Daily Mail sent chocolate mosque with note saying ‘bite me’

THE Daily Mail has taken delivery of an elaborate chocolate mosque accompanied by an angry note.

It is suspected the giant confectionery is from Bake Off champion Nadiya Hussain after Mail columnist Amanda Platell revealed Mary Berry was secretly hoping for a big chocolate mosque made by an elderly white protestant.

The mosque is currently sitting in the middle of the Daily Mail newsroom, surrounded by journalists desperate to devour it for a wide variety of reasons.

Mail columnist Stephen Glover said: “I’m very worried about creeping Islamisation and I love chocolate. Eating this mosque will be both patriotic and delicious. A stunning victory for Christian chocaholics.”

But Platell has warned her colleagues not to eat the mosque as it ‘will make them go muslim’.

In an email, she said: “They add a special ingredient. It’s very dangerous. I will take it home and destroy it.”

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Shit, he's onto me, says Obama

PRESIDENT Obama has fled the White House after Rupert Murdoch saw through his deception.

The 84-year-old media magnate and sleuth, who previously solved the Tulisa drug-dealing mystery, tweeted his suspicions yesterday.

Obama said: “The moment I saw the words ‘What about a real black president?’ I knew the game was up.

“How he found out when people like Donald Trump and Ted Nugent were fooled, I will never know. It’s goodbye Washington, hello Paraguay.

“They’ll look for me, of course, but they won’t find me. Because there never was a black president called Barack Obama.”

Murdoch said: “He’s far from the only one. Sometimes I hallucinate millions of black people, all of them disagreeing with me, all of them wrong.”