ADVERTISING is all about creativity, innovation and paying arseholes to make up bullshit. Here are six peak-bollocks slogans:
L’Oreal – Because you’re worth it
Worry no more because you are worth it. You are worth gifting yourself a wide assortment of ruinously expensive goo and slime, that will hopefully stop your disgusting face from looking quite so slimy, dry and old. That’s just how much you’re worth it.
Sky – Believe in better
Not only do they demand that you part with a small fortune every month, but Sky also want you to believe that what you’re getting is better. Which presumably means those hours you spend resetting the wi-fi router, leaning out of windows to get a phone signal and sitting through their tedious American dramas are better than… nothing at all?
Nike – Just do it
Turns out all you had to do, all along, is ‘it’. No one knows what the f**k ‘it’ is, but Nike are very keen that you spend several hundred pounds on shoes, socks and t-shirts to wear whilst you attempt to figure that tricky question out.
Apple – Think different
Apple make it clear in their slogan that they’re the brand for independent thinkers. That’s why most of the world buy their phones, and still buy them even though the screens break the second you look at them. Because they all think so differently.
Guinness – Good things come to those who wait
This old adage may be true, but less so when it comes to a stout you only ordered to look like the quirky guy in your group of mates. Sure, you’ll wait – for the clueless London barman to try and fail to pour it decently – but the fiver they just charged you for it stops any part of the experience being ‘good’.