A COUPLE are glad to have a further four weeks blaming lockdown for the state of their relationship before facing the facts.
Lauren Hewitt and Jack Browne have been locked down together throughout the pandemic and have really enjoyed believing that their constant rows and lack of sex are because of the straitened circumstances, not their fundamental incompatibility.
Hewitt said: “Such a shame Freedom Day’s off. No more restrictions on gatherings, no more social distancing, no more excuses. I think I’ve got a good idea how we’d have celebrated it.
“But sadly we won’t be reaching that point until July, so we’ve got an extra four weeks to pretend that the real reason I’ve stormed off halfway through Gogglebox is that I’m upset that gigs are still prohibited.”
Browne agreed: “There’s something about nightclub openings being postponed that really casts a cloud over our love. That’s why we’ve been fighting and sulking ever since last March.
“I’m sure everything will be alright by the time we reach July 19th. One way or another.”