Couple lower their standards enough to marry each other

A COUPLE have separately decided to lower their standards for the ideal partner all the way to marriage, they have confirmed. 

Both Tom Booker and Helen Archer had always hoped to end up with someone better-looking, funnier and more successful but have accepted that, as they are in their mid-30s, it is not going to happen.

Helen said: “My red lines were above six foot, runs his own business, like hanging out with a best friend. Tom’s five foot nine, sells his old Xbox games on eBay, and sometimes we get through a night without telly and without argument. He’ll do.”

Tom agreed: “Helen’s no Scarlett Johannson to look at, her sense of humour’s intermittent and emotionally she’s unavailable. But at the end of the day it’s probably better than being alone.”

Sociologists believe that significantly reducing expectations is the leading cause of marriage in the United Kingdom, with ‘concession marriages’ making up 75 per cent of the total.

Wedding guests have been asked to contribute to a honeymoon fund which will be spent on a holiday six levels down from the one Booker and Archer had always dreamed of.