Couple sure insanely expensive wedding will make them fancy each other

A COUPLE in the final stages of planning a wedding believe it will finally make them attracted to each other.

Nikki Hollis and Tom Booker think a lavish event will turn them into a loving couple rather than two people who find each other quite irritating but reckon it is better than nothing.

Hollis said: “Having a perfect wedding will prove Tom and I are deeply in love really, even if we rarely have sex and argue constantly about ludicrous things like buying a new kettle.

“Tom’s traditional morning suit even makes him look slightly attractive if I use my imagination a bit.

“I’m sure our honeymoon in Dubai and my new lingerie will inflame his passions and he won’t just stay up till 2am drinking lager and watching Traffic Cops.”

Booker said: “Hopefully the wedding will be the romantic equivalent of going to a football match at a big stadium where you get carried along by the atmosphere even if you don’t really care about the teams.

“It might not, so on honeymoon I plan to go scuba diving and have a ride in a helicopter so I’ll have some memories I can cherish forever.”