Sunday, 9th August 2020

Hot singles looking to join social bubbles in your area

ATTRACTIVE single people in your area desperately want to join your social bubble, adverts are claiming. 

According to trustworthy pop-ups on adult websites, hot singles near you are on the lookout for some no-strings-attached household-on-household social bubble fun.

Horndog Wayne Hayes said: “I can only form a social bubble with one household so I should choose my grandma or a lonely friend. But on the other hand Rachel, aged 26, only lives 40 minutes away and is ready to go.

“I’ve been trying to connect with hot singles via my webcam, to ensure I’m making the right decisions about who to bubble up with, but they keep changing the subject. Afraid of commitment.

“But Rachel’s not like that. She’s always sending me GIFs and she seems really keen to share. Yes, normally she’d be out of my league, but these are unprecendented times.

“I’ve sent my credit card details so she can get an Uber over here, and she should be arriving tonight. I hope she’s good with computers. Ever since I clicked on her ad mine’s been playing up.”

Hayes’s grandmother Yvonne said: “I thought Wayne might call about being in his social bubble, but I’m glad he hasn’t. I’ve got Scott, aged 26, coming over later.”