A WOMAN has dumped her boyfriend because of a list of faults she has yet to discover are endemic to the male sex.
Eleanor Shaw, aged 26, ended her relationship with 25-year-old Tom Logan because of unpleasant traits she will soon realise are inherent to his entire gender.
She said: “He farts. He scratches his balls. He believes five hours in the pub is a ‘great night out’. I’m pretty sure he’s looked at porn and maybe even liked it.
“He’s uncomfortable talking about his feelings, is far too into football, he stares at other women’s breasts and once addressed me as ‘mate’ after sex. He’s more passionate about the Iranian embassy siege than he is about me, and used my enriching shampoo on his dog.
“I cannot possibly be with someone who ignores coasters, belches and believes washing his sheets once a month is perfectly acceptable. Other men aren’t like this. I just picked the worst one.
“I’m sure dating apps are filled with gorgeous, rich, monogamous and sexually skilled men eager for commitment who’ll treat me like a princess. Pretty sure I’ll never have to put up with any of that nonsense again.”
Logan said: “I was smashing that relationship. I cooked dinner twice last year.”
