A MAN with a dense forest of pubes between his legs is sickened by a woman with unshaved armpits, he has announced.
Hirsute misogynist Bill McKay thinks nothing of the thick tangle of untrimmed curly locks around his penis, but almost vomited after noticing a delicate patch of stubble on a woman’s underarm.
He said: “Lots of hair on a man is a beautiful thing. It’s a sign of virility. Women on the other hand should do the decent thing and limit it exclusively to their heads. Even the gay ones.
“When I spotted the thick patch of fuzz – the hairs were easily a millimetre long – my body nearly purged there and then. If she’d misplaced her razor blades she should have done the decent thing and covered herself up. There are rules for this sort of eventuality.
“And if that carpet of unkempt fur was sprouting in her armpits, I dread to think what shaggy state her legs are in. It’d be like boffing King Kong. I feel that’s a valid point.
“Personally I keep my body perfectly groomed by removing weird ear and nose hairs once every decade, so there’s no excuse for her not putting in the effort.”
Woman Emma Bradford said: “The bar’s so low for men we’re used to separating a matted curtain of shrubbery to reach their genitals. But it’s the pubes on their shoulders we really find disgusting.”
