YOUR date thinks he did everything right to lure you into his lair of love on the first date. This is the real reasons you gave up and f**ked him:
Fancy postcode
The date was winding down. It had been a solid five out of ten evening. Then she mentioned the fancy area she was travelling back to and you were overwhelmed with lust. Fast forward half an hour and you’re gawping at chandeliers and walk-in wardrobes as you bang someone you barely give a shit about.
Missed the last bus
Thanks to your date droning on about his emotionally distant father, the evening overran and you missed the last bus home. But while his anecdote game might be underwhelming, he’s crushing it in the living-nearby department. Going back to his will cost you your self respect, but that’s much cheaper than an Uber because it doesn’t involve real money.
They’ve already got the heating on
Not only is your date clearly flush with cash, but she’s already turned her flat into a warm bank. The cost of living crisis is forcing everyone to make difficult choices, and you had to choose between being sexless and cold or warm while giving head. Nobody blames you for what you did.
Your housemates are having a party
You’ve had a long week and you’re f**king knackered, then you remember your housemates are having some friends around to take edibles and listen to MF Doom until the early hours. Meanwhile your date lives on his own and you’d get to enjoy some uninterrupted slumber after brisk, perfunctory intercourse. It’s a no-brainer.
It’s been a while
When was the last time you got your end away? Jesus. No wonder you shagged him on the first date, you were at risk of forgetting how it’s done. The main thing you remember from this brief encounter is the walk of shame the next morning. It was miles better than the inept fumbling the night before.
