Sunday, 9th August 2020

Woman desperately wants you to notice her engagement ring

A WOMAN is going to extreme lengths to make people comment on the large gemstone on her finger, it has emerged.

Since being proposed to, Charlotte Phelps has been holding her hand in a variety of strange positions so everyone will be forced to acknowledge that she is getting married soon.

Friend Nikki Hollis said: “I clocked the ring immediately. I just didn’t say anything because I wanted to see how long she’d walk around holding her hand out weirdly. 

“Or dangling her arm and pretending her hand was really heavy. She did stop for a bit when I asked if she’d had a stroke. But then she kept adjusting it so you couldn’t ignore the constant f**king fidgeting.

“Why couldn’t she have just posted a black-and-white photo of her hand to Facebook with a faux-humble caption like everyone else? I could’ve given it an insincere ‘like’ and we could all move on.

“Now if I ask her about the ring in person there’s a very real danger she’ll invite me to the sodding wedding. Which would be a bit awkward because I’ve been shagging her fiance behind her back.”