Are Volcanoes Caused By Skanks?

AS air travel resumes across Europe attention has shifted to the cause of volcanic ash, with many people fingering skanks.

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Your Problems Solved, With Holly Harper

Dear Holly, I met a woman called Barbara online in a Chris De Burgh fan forum last year, and for many months we have been emailing back and forth, getting to know one another and discussing our shared passion for Chris' phenomenal music. Last week, we plucked up the courage to finally meet. But as soon as I saw her, it swiftly became apparent that Barbara had been somewhat economical with the truth about her appearance. Although she had led me to believe she was a young, pretty blonde, it turned out that she would be better described as bearing an uncanny resemblance to Rick Parfitt from Status Quo. I feel slightly cheated by her duplicity but at the same time I haven't had sex for three years and I am 86% confident she will let me sleep with her. Do you think I should continue the friendship, in spite of her unsightliness?Wayne,Barnsley

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