Are you reading for pleasure or is your phone dead?

ARE YOU reading because you enjoy the complex interplay of stimulating thoughts that a good book offers, or has your phone battery died? Take our quiz: 

When was the last time you read a book?

A) I’ve always got at least one on the go, maybe more. It keeps the mind sharp and opens it to new ideas.

B) In school, because they made us.

What book are you reading right now?

A) The Power by Naomi Alderman. I’m a little late to the game, but that book is gripping!

B) A seven-month old copy of Star magazine with a cover story about Gemma Collins.

Did you charge your phone before you left the house?

A) I don’t use my phone that heavily, so it’s probably got enough charge without needing to top it up. I don’t know, I’ve not looked at it.

B) No, no, for fuck’s sake, no. I can’t believe I didn’t. I’m a fucking idiot.

Did you bring your charger with you?

A) No. It lives downstairs, by the hall table.

B) I’ve already said I’m an idiot mate. Why doesn’t my stupid battery last more than four hours? I’ve got Twitter to check, an Instagram story to update, and God knows what’s going on in my WhatsApps.


Mostly As: You enjoy reading. Well done. But also you should know that everyone thinks you’re an arsehole. What are you trying to prove, with your fancy book? Think you’re better than everyone else? Twat.

Mostly Bs: Your phone is dead. It was either Star magazine or stare at a pigeon. But at least you’re normal, not a speccy four-eyed swot.