ARE you attending the Labour party conference because of your passion for politics, or is it because you are lonely and bored?
Take our test and find out.
What is your main reason for attending the conference?
A) I care about the future of Britain.
B) If I spend another evening watching Newsnight with my cat I may go mad.
Did you go to any of the tragic conference discos?
A) No, they’re just full of ageing lefties dancing weirdly.
B) You bet! It was like being at the parties in The Wolf of Wall Street compared to my usual social life, which is talking to my mum about her wheelie bins.
You found yourself in a lift with popular MP Keir Starmer. What did you do?
A) Politely congratulated him on his Brexit speech.
B) Invented a toe-curling fantasy in which Keir and I are best friends and play tennis together and one day he invites me to become an MP, which I am brilliant at.
How will you feel when conference ends?
A) Quite glad to leave the sweaty conference halls and lengthy debates.
B) Gutted! I just want the fun to go on forever!
Mostly As. Well done! You are more interested in politics than filling a gaping void in your life.
Mostly Bs. You are perhaps using politics as a substitute for a normal life. Use your four hours a day on Guardian comment sections to try and have a shag instead.