Call for all buildings to look like vaginas

ALL buildings should look at least vaguely like a vagina, it has been agreed.

Following celebrated architect Zaha Hadid’s vagina-like stadium design, most people said there was just something about it which made an enormous amount of sense.

Tom Logan, from Peterborough, said: “Is it a sexual experience? Am I returning to the womb? Am I exploring the feminine side of my nature? Is it a sexual experience?”

According to the Institute for Studies, people who work in a steel or timber-framed vagina are 23 per cent more productive, 48 per cent less likely to suffer from stress and when asked how they are feeling almost always say, ‘really good’.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Meanwhile, people who work in penis-shaped buildings are always challenging each other to noisy feats of strength.”

Jane Thompson, from Finsbury Park, said: “When I see a vagina-shaped building it makes me feel 10 feet tall.

“It also makes me feel like I should have laser beams coming out of my eyes.”

 

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Duchess wows easily-wowed crowd

THE Duchess of Cambridge has wowed people by arriving at a location in some clothes.

Onlooker Julian Cook said: “When she got out of the car I was like ‘wow’.

“Then she did a little wave, wow. She had a dress on – triple wow.

“Wow, wow, wow.”

He added: “I’m the sort of person who is amazed by everything. This morning I had some toast and it blew my tiny mind.”