Cool ‘life hackers’ actually just tight sods

SO-CALLED ‘life hacks’ are really just pointless tips for dull misers, it has emerged.

Despite widespread media interest, Britons are discovering life hacks are just nan-type domestic hints such as using a lemon to clean glass.

Office manager Mary Fisher said: “I’ve tried loads of life hacks and so far I’ve managed to make a bottle of washing up liquid last slightly longer and avoided binning 25p of limp salad.  

“I might stop wasting my life on this idiocy because although I’ve discovered essential oils mixed with baking soda makes an inexpensive air freshener, you can’t buy self-respect.”

Life hacker Martin Bishop said: “Thanks to all the articles about life hacks I’m learning new ones every day, like how you don’t need to bathe or wash your clothes if you spray yourself all over with Windolene.

“With all the savings I’ve got loads of extra cash to spend in the pub, but I prefer the hack of staying at home drinking pints of tap water made to look like beer with food colouring.

He added: “Yesterday I found out about a quick way of slicing tomatoes horizontally that will save me at least four minutes over the course of a lifetime.”