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Cutting-Edge Scientists Condemned To 8th Circle Of Hell, Says Vatican

SCIENTISTS engaged in cutting edge bio-genetic research will be condemned to the eighth circle of Hell, surrounded for all time by panderers and seducers, the Vatican said last night.

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School Leavers To Pledge Allegiance To Some Old Cow

SCHOOL leavers will be forced to swear allegiance to some stinking old cow even though they have never even met her or nothing.

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