Monday, 8th March 2021

Everyone secretly grateful for complete losers who write Amazon reviews

CONSUMERS agree that people who write product reviews on Amazon are pitiful losers, despite reading every single one and finding them very helpful.

Those who take the time to rate something they bought online have been confirmed as terminally pathetic saddoes, whilst simultaneously being heavily relied on by people making their own purchases.

Tom Logan said: “Anyone who gets their new kettle and then goes back onto Amazon to give it three stars and say it’s a good size but the logo rubbed off after two weeks is a total moron with too much time on their hands.

“But that doesn’t mean I don’t truly appreciate their service and have used that information to make a more informed choice. No one wants their kettle to look prematurely aged, do they?”

Emma Bradford said: “The world needs to know that the Amazon Basics USB type-C cable was ‘nothing to write home about’. I simply can’t sleep at night knowing people might buy it and expect it to be a four-star product.

“Yes, I’m very fulfilled in life, thank you.”