Google Glass makes everything look like 'Knightmare'

GOOGLE’S computer glasses immerse the wearer in the fantasy world of children’s TV show Knightmare, it has emerged.

The corporation gave its 30something male software engineers free creative rein, a decision which would inevitably lead to swords and sorcery.

Google Glass beta tester Tom Logan said: “You put them on and suddenly everything looks like a massive dungeon.

“A disembodied voice says things like ‘get the magical goblet’ and ‘avoid the dragon, sidestep to your left’.

“I had a sword battle with a hill troll and then took off my Google glasses to find I was in a work meeting and had stabbed the HR guy with a marker pen.

“Also my girlfriend gets really annoyed because when we go to restaurants I just order ‘whatever will replenish my life points’.”

Logan’s girlfriend Emma Bradford said: “We talked about buying a house and having kids but since he got these glasses his main goal has become finding a magical scroll.

“When I try to discuss it he says I’m just an obstacle on his quest and offers me an apple to let him pass.”

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Top of Everest 'quite a rough area'

YOU’RE better off avoiding the top of Everest at night, it has been claimed.

After a brawl broke out between climbers and sherpas, locals said they wouldn’t recommend going to the summit after dark.

Base camp resident Roy Hobbs said: “Everest used to be such a nice mountain, but now its always kicking off up there.

“People imagine this tranquil rocky peak but there’s actually loads of horrible chain pubs and massage parlours.”