Grandma turns pantry into pimped-out Nan Cave

A GRANDMOTHER has ‘pimped out’ her kitchen pantry to make it into a full-on Nan Cave all the other pensioners in the crescent are jealous of. 

88-year-old Mary Fisher decided to turn her pantry into a room focused on herself and her interests because she only has one life and does not want to end it holding no cheddar.

She said: “I’ve got YOLO up on the wall, done in cross-stitch, to remind everyone that’s how I live, next to a framed photograph of a Bourbon biscuit I found on Instagram.

“There’s a 65-inch flatscreen showing all the greats – Bargain Hunt, The Forsyte Saga, Take The High Road – and I’ve got a three-speed, four-action rocker there. Take it for a spin if you want.

“On that shelf there’s my golliwogs, which aren’t racist, and in this drawer there are 135 different pairs of reading glasses, right next to copies of the People’s Friend dating back to 1993.

“You church hall bitches can’t handle my swag. Fisher out.”

Husband Norman Fisher said: “Well, I’ve fitted six-by-nine inch Rockford Fosgate speakers to my lawnmower. You best believe the hood going to roar.”

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Jammy millennial only spends 70 per cent of his salary on rent

A MILLENNIAL man is the envy of his peers after revealing he has an incredible 30 per cent of his monthly income left after paying his rent.

Following a report showing that most 18-32-year-olds are paying three-quarters of their income on substandard housing, Londoner Tom Logan believes he is “incredibly lucky” to have found a shared house that leaves him with a little extra spare.

He said: “We are talking £165 a month here in disposable income to spend on whatever I like, whether it’s council tax or buying some flashy new socks from Primark.

“Most of my friends are spending 80 to 90 per cent of their income, so I’m quite the big man. The other day I went wild and got myself a sandwich from an actual shop. I know.

“I’ve even been able to put some money away to buy my own place. I’ve only been saving for a year but I’ve already got £6. It feels really good to be planning for the future.”

Logan’s letting agency will next month announce a 15 per cent rise in rent payments to cover the administration costs of an upward adjustment in letting fees.