Greedy people have more stuff, say experts

PEOPLE who want lots of stuff are more likely to have it than people who are not really that bothered, scientist have claimed.

He doesn't have fancy things and is therefore really nice

Psychologists at the University of California found that wealthy people had a habit of wanting money and would actively do things in order to acquire it.

Research director Paul Piff said: “It seems that rich people have become rich by being greedy and developing strategies to get the things they want, while poor people may have entertained the idea of having lots of money but then decided not to do anything about it.

“This has led to a situation where some people have more things than other people.”

Dr Piff said the results now raise the possibilty that human beings are animals with some sort of ‘survival instinct’.

But the research was dismissed by the International Association of Wealthy Individuals who invited Dr Piff to their mahogany-lined study for a glass of whisky and a quiet chat to see if they could sort out this silly mess.

A spokesman said: “You and I are men of the world, Dr Piff. Tell me what I can do to make this little problem go away.”

Meanwhile, the study also concluded that all rich people are exactly the same as Terry-Thomas in Monte Carlo or Bust.

Dr Piff added: “We studied traffic at an intersection and found that people in expensive cars are 73% more likely to have a contraption fitted to the back which spews out oil in a bid to make driving condition treacherous for Tony Curtis and Susan Hampshire.

“And more than 60% get Eric Sykes to do their dirty work for them.”