ARE you a Silicon Valley zealot reshaping the world in your inhuman image? Include all these in your 3.0 version build:
Have a mission
Your mission is to transform the world. Beginning with a more efficient way of leveraging internet microtransactions, but ending by looking out onto a utopia you’ve created merely by taking away humanity’s free will. You’re not afraid dream.
Wear the same thing every day
Explain to journalists that your wardrobe of hundreds of identical grey T-shirts and pairs of jeans frees up valuable milliseconds per day. Gloss over whatever happened in your childhood to make you this way. One day everyone will wear what you wear, and be happier.
Be into a high-octane extreme sport
Develop a niche obsession with Venezuelan juego del garrote fighting that requires its own coach alongside your existing personal trainer. Instruct them both to follow you in discreet black outfits and headsets, giving you Kardashian-level celebrity but without the curves and sequins.
Appear regularly on stage with a headset
You can’t be a tech overlord without launching stuff on a regular basis. To launch things, you need a headset and the ability to pace up and down a stage talking intensely about your radical world view.
You see further ahead than the huddled masses, so commission your bunker complex in New Zealand complete with private plane to fly you and your entourage there when civilisation melts down. Or when you’re facing an inconvenient hearing about your product neurologically disabling children’s moral centres.
Post cryptic shit on Twitter
Despite a full diary of top-level meetings, post on Twitter about how crypto is the future and puzzling statements such as ‘the metaverse means that the Singularity is approaching.’ When you finally post ‘My nanos are released. Humanity is to become a connected hive mind’ nobody will even give a shit.
Openly plan to abandon the planet
Make it clear from the beginning Earth isn’t enough for you. Send missions to Mars, Venus and an asteroid you’ve had made into a replica of your head. Tell press conferences ‘In 2039, three lucky female employees of child-bearing age will leave the planet for new lives in the TechCranium, alongside myself and William Shatner.’