Hulk Hogan sex tape fulfills internet creator's dream

THE sex tape featuring wrestler Hulk Hogan is the realisation of a long-cherished dream, according to web creator Tim Berners-Lee.

The inventor of the internet said: “It was always our goal for the web that one day everyone around the world would be able to see an ageing giant whose buttocks are a different colour to his body pounding away at a random lady.

“Watching on my home computer as she discarded the post-coital condom like a freshly-killed rattlesnake made my heart swell with pride.

“It was a long hard struggle, but ultimately the internet was worth it. The Kanye tape is great too, and I love lolcats.”



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Mercury award boosts band's illegal download figures

MERCURY winners Alt-J are already seeing a seven-fold increase in the number of times their album is digitally stolen.

Music fan Tom Logan said: “Seeing them win the award inspired me to get their record for free.

“I might even listen to it one day, after I’ve waded through all the other music I haven’t paid for.

“Anyway, good luck to them.”