Kids deliberately hold in piss until least convenient time

CHILDREN deliberately hold in all their piss until they are in a restaurant, car or swimming pool, it has been confirmed.

Researchers found that rather than go to the toilet when the need arises, under sevens prefer to wait until they have a full-to-bursting bladder where it is a huge problem.

Four-year-old Mary Fisher said: “I once drank four pints of water and then deliberately didn’t wee for three days before a trip to Cornwall.

“I pissed in every single service station on the M5. I went in bushes, laybys and in my dad’s reusable coffee cup. Best day ever.”

Daisy’s mother Emma said: “If we eat out she will always needs to go as soon as the food arrives, then she’ll have at least six more during the meal – which inevitably ends up going cold.

“If we don’t take her to the toilet and she pisses her pants, it’s all on us and she knows it.

Professor Henry Brubaker from the Institute for Studies said: “We thought children had weaker bladders. In fact they piss strategically to assert their dominance over adults, and also because they love dicking about with hand-dryers.”