A WOMAN quietly doing her pelvic floor exercises in a business meeting is pretty sure nobody has noticed.
Nikki Hollis has spent the last 10 minutes of the weekly sales update flexing the muscles of her vagina, but believes she has been careful not to show it on her face.
She said: “Why not? I’m multitasking.
“Pretty sure I’ve masked it just as expressions of suprise and joy when Mark unveils his impressive ROIs for the marketing budget. There’s no way anyone can tell.”
Colleague Stephen Malley said: “We can literally all tell.
“She’s raising her eyebrows with a look of pained surprise every five seconds, and shifting around on the chair like a toddler with an itchy arse.
“Also the moment when she had a full-body shudder and nearly slid under the table was a heavy hint. And a memorable one.”
Malley added: “Luckily most of the room’s attention was on Dan frantically clenching his arse because he was on the Guinness last night and was terrified that if he farted he’d crap himself.”