Rescheduled CERN neutrino test to take place last week
CERN’S controversial neutrino experiment will be/has already been/is being rescheduled for last week, scientists have announced/will announce/are currently announcing.
The experiment, in which neutrino particles were/will be/are discovered to have travelled/will travel/ are travelling faster than the speed of light, will take place/has already taken place/is taking place right now at the Large Hadron Collider.
The initial – or possibly final – experiment produced, or has yet to produce, or is somehow still producing, results that scientists continue to find, are finding, or have yet to find shocking, even if they don’t know what the results are as the experiment may well not have taken place yet.
Discussing the findings, physicist Dr Carolyn Ryan said: “I thought I’d seen and was yet to see everything, but this quite literally blew, is blowing and will blow my mind.
“When the results first came in, two weeks from now, I was sceptical, but then I realised I’d seen them before, the previous week, and I’m also looking at them again now, for the first time, in utter astonishment”.
“There can be no doubt that this was a great moment for physics. But the moment immediately prior to it was probably even greater, and I look forward to both of them occurring sometime in the near future.”
When asked to explain the findings, Dr Ryan said: “It’s really quite simple.
“The initial experiment timed the arrival of neutrinos and found that they appeared at their destination a fraction of a second before they left their starting point, which means they were already part of the past of the event that was in their future and yet to take place, despite the result of the future event being something that had already occurred, and the past event proving that the future event was somehow already existent.
“Or to put it in layman’s terms, hasn’t Brian Cox got great teeth?”