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Overenthusiastic chimp impersonator rips off man's arm

OFFICE worker Tom Logan tore off a friend’s limb after getting too into character during his party-piece primate impression, it has emerged.

34-year-old Logan’s ‘chimp act’, which typically involved him walking on all fours in a bandy-legged posture saying ‘ook’, was well-known among his social group.

The tragedy occurred at his wife’s birthday party, where it was drunkenly suggested that Logan ‘do his funny monkey bit’.

An onlooker said: “At first it was hilarious. Tom was lumbering about, scratching his buttocks, swiping at imaginary flies and pretending to be scared of a cigarette lighter.

“Then it changed.

“Our workmate Stephen went to ruffle Tom’s hair. Tom snarled, eyes full of simian hate, seized his outstretched arm and yanked with superhuman strength.

“The limb came clean off, releasing an almighty torrent of blood.

“Tom brandished it like a weapon, swiping at us and repeatedly snarling ‘gok ah gook’ before clambering onto a balcony and beginning to eat the arm.

“After a lot of screaming and confusion an ambulance arrived, plus some other men who shot Tom with a tranquilizer dart.”

Animal impersonations expert Nikki Hollis said: “People pretending to be primates can be amusing, but it’s all too easy for them to disappear into the ape mindset.

“Last year 48 people were killed or seriously injured by comedy ape impersonators. If you find yourself near one, under no circumstances should you make eye contact.

“Back away very slowly, saying you’re going to get a drink.”