Friday, 4th December 2020

Scientist doubting life's work after reading Facebook comments by twat

AN expert epidemiologist is doubting everything he has ever learned about viruses after reading the baseless opinions of some halfwit on Facebook.

Professor Stephen Malley, who has two degrees, a PhD and has worked in his highly specialised field for 20 years, is wondering whether he should bow to the superior wisdom of a twat with Google.

Malley said: “This guy looked at some memes, watched several videos on YouTube and misunderstood a few graphs, so he’s really snapping at my heels in terms of expertise.

“Now he’s confidently telling people there is no pandemic. I can’t believe I’ve been messing around worrying about peer-reviewed research when you can just read some stuff your mate Gary shared online and know that Covid is a lie.

“I’m going to jack it all in now seeing as I’ve been totally shown up by a guy who somehow knows more than me about pathogenesis despite the fact that he works in a computer repair shop.

“Hopefully he’ll be able to sort out ebola too.”

Twat in question Wayne Hayes said: “Of course he’d say that. Everyone knows scientists are getting massive bribes from facemask manufacturers. Everyone on Facebook, anyway.”